Country Bound

stress and struggles.

At the moment I find myself stressed beyond measure. I’m nearing the final few weeks of my first semester of college, but of course it comes with mounds of final projects and papers, and all seem to be due at the same time. There just isn’t enough time for me to do everything I need to. Stress is the one thing I feel one hundred percent of the time; it doesn’t go away; it never subsides; I can’t seem to escape it. I guess that’s college. 

I have all this stuff to do, and how do I choose to spend my time? Writing a blog. Seems silly to be writing a blog when I have papers to write and lessons to present. But you know what? I don’t give a crap. Sometimes, people just need an outlet for whats going on in their life, a way to let people know that life isn’t perfect and that they’re struggling. My life isn’t perfect, it’s far from perfect. This isn’t what I imagined when I decided to go halfway across the country to college. I had this idea that college would be easy, and it would be awesome moving to a new state and being able to be the “out-of-towner”. While I have had fun, made amazing friends, and grown more in my walk with the Lord than ever before, I have been served a hearty portion of reality, and it’s not sitting so well with me.

What would reality be without struggles? Well, it wouldn’t be much of a reality! I am struggling. There, I said it, now you know. I struggle with being away from my family, my home, my friends, and everything that encompasses living in Anaheim Hills. I struggle in my walk with God and finding my peace in Him. I struggle with my school work. I struggle with the fact that I barely hear from any of my friends from home. It makes me question how much I really mean to them. I know that all of my friends were so deeply important to me, and I miss them every single day. I count the days until I am home and can see them, but it almost feels like they don’t care. I know that may not be true, and I know that I am really busy, as I’m sure they are too, but if we get so busy with our lives that we can’t find time to check in on a friend, then we have lost sight of our priorities. My friends were such a significant part of my life, and all of a sudden it’s like I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. I also struggle with the whole not having a “love interest”. Watching happy couples around me, makes me think “why them and not me? What is wrong with me?” I know that’s not true, and I know that God has a perfect plan for my life. I know that it is the enemy putting those thoughts in my head trying to bring me down. I’m not going to lie, sometimes he does, but then I remember God’s promise in Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 

I am trying to find my comfort in the Lord, my God, and not by worldly things. One thing I’ve learned here is that God is the only one who can truly calm your soul and give it rest. All I desire is to be fulfilled by God and God alone. I’m not saying I have all the answers, or have any clue how to go about it, but I know God is all I need because he always was, always is, and will always be, and the things of this world will crumble and pass away, but God is forever. 

I am stressed and struggling. I am also a cherished child of a wonderful Heavenly Father. He will bring me through anything. So for now, I’m clinging to Him, and just trying to keep myself from drowning in my stormy sea of stress and struggles. 

trust

I may go through trials, I may have bad days, I may be hurt, I may fail, and I may not know all the answers, and yet I keep a smile on my face. Not because I’m trying to hide my pain, or because I want people to think I’m “okay”, but because I have put my trust in the Lord and he dwells within me. I trust that he has a purpose for what He is doing in my life, and I trust that, no matter the trial, He will guide me through it. I trust in Him because everything else has failed me, yet He has been faithful and will continue to be. So I will lift my hands, close my eyes, and raise my voice to sing His praises of how faithful He is. I will smile because I have found a hope in my Savior, and I have eternal life because He loved me enough to go to the cross for my sins. I smile because the trials of this life are small and short-lived, and in the end I will be with my Heavenly Father for all eternity. I can’t think of a better reason to smile, can you?

fall is here…maybe.

Hey guys!! Sorry it’s been so long since my last post, but here’s an update!

So lately it’s been cooling down, like from like 108 down to like 102ish. It’s weird that I now consider that “cooling down”. But this weekend my friend Summer brought me and my roommate back to her house, and when we woke up this morning her parents told us to go outside, and I did. IT WAS COLD! well, cooler than usual, actually way cooler than usual, it was 67 degrees!!! I actually wore a sweatshirt back to school! It was amazing! But I was promptly reminded that Texas weather can be as unpredictable as California’s weather, so it could be back up there again tomorrow. But for now I’m drinking in the weather; it reminds me of the perfect beach weather, and I feel like i’m right back at home.

Now, to update y’all about the rest of my life.

As I’m sure you just noticed, I have started to say y’all. I can’t help it! I try to stick to my California girl ways and say “you guys” but its so hard when everyone out here says “y’all”. 

I’ve made a few really great friends. Leah, who is my roommate, and Summer, who lives just down the hall from us. I’ve made lots of other friends, but those are the ones I spend the most time with. We are constantly joking with each other, and I’m so blessed to have them. I also have an amazing RA! We love her so much!!! 

My classes are going pretty great. My favorite class by far is my Teacher Seminar class, probably because it makes me feel like I’m getting that much closer to my degree! On Thursday I had an interview with my T.S. professor for my application to the Teacher Certification Program. It went so well, and nothing to sweat about!

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been able to feel God’s presence in my life a little bit more. I feel him with me, and I feel the power of prayer working in my life. In just the 3 weeks I’ve been here, I’ve learned that it’s easier to lean on God and ask him for help, even if that means asking other to pray for you, than to try to go it alone. God has blessed me here so much, and has definitely set me up for success, and I just hope and pray that I will be able to be successful.

One thing that is really hard for me right now, as silly as it sounds, is missing football season. My school doesn’t have a football team, and I don’t have a car to go anywhere, but its not just the games, its cheering at them. The other night I got to go to a JV game for Summer’s little brother, which was really fun, but still I miss my comanches.

I miss my family every single day. I still want to cry when I think about them, but I know God has me where I will grow, and they’re still there for me with whatever I need. 

If you could please keep me in your prayers that’d be wonderful. Just like before the same requests from a few posts ago still apply. 

I’m so thankful for every single one of you, and I pray that the Lord will bless your life and the lives of those you touch.

Thanks again!

Love, 

Em

officially a college student.

So it’s official, I’m a college student! I’m not going to lie, I was really apprehensive about starting college and being held to such high standards. God has really helped slowly guide me into this, and has blessed me with teachers that help do the same thing. If there is one thing all of my teachers have really stressed is that even though we are got these huge syllabi with all of the assignments on it, that those will be over time and we won’t just be given the assignment without the tools we need. That has been really comforting to me to know that. So far my homework and stuff hasn’t been too bad, but I’m sure I’m being a bit naive. My schedule isn’t too bad, which is nice. 

I’ve started to make more friends, which is another comforting thing. Your prayers have really been affective, because I can totally see and feel God working in my life trying to help me with this huge transition in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I still get a little teary eyed when I think about my family and how much I miss them. You know, when I was in high school, I totally took my family for granted. I always spent the weekends with them, because I wasn’t a “partier”. And I remember the whole time I was hanging out with them I was wishing I was having fun with my friends and not hanging out with my parents so much. Now its the reverse situation. I wish I was with my mom and dad more. Being away at college is like being at a sleepover that lasts forever. I mean, it’s fun when you’re making friends and hanging out, but then theres times when you’re alone, walking to class, sitting in your dorm, or right after you’ve comforted a friend who misses her parents, that you feel that void that only your family can fill. It’s crazy to think that months ago I was counting the days until I would move out here and finally be in Texas; now I’m counting the days until I can go home and be with my family. In a nutshell, I miss my family like crazy and I can’t wait until I can come home! 

Today, we had our first thunder and lightening storm of the school year. My roommate and a friend of ours were planning to go off campus to get some dinner and just to get out. Then we looked out our window and it was all grey and black and really windy. Then one of them says, “I bet there’s gonna be a tornado” and I almost died! I was screaming and freaking out, but at the same time it was totally awesome. So we stayed in, ate in the caf, and then had a movie night in our dorm room. The one thing that kinda stinks is that the CO2 is broken in the caf so none of the soda is carbonated, but oh well hopefully it’ll be fixed soon! 

I just want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. I cannot express to you how comforting it is to know that I have your support and that you are praying for me. I’m so blessed to have you all in my life. I love you and miss you more than you could ever know! 

The pray requests from my last post are still what I need prayer for. So just keep on praying! 

Thanks! Love and Miss you all!

Em

settled in.

Hey guys! So tomorrow I start school! I have mixed emotions about it, but I know that this is God’s plan for me, and I’m encouraged by that.

SWAT (Student Welcome and Transition) was lots of fun, and I made new friends. The first full day, Thursday, was really hard. I was on the verge of tears all morning. Things got better as the day went on and they’ve been getting better ever since. Yesterday my parents came and picked me up to go get the other things I needed for my room and to spend some time with them before I went to drop them off at the airport. Saying bye to them was really hard; they’ve been my main support system my entire life, and now they’re the ones who have to support me from afar while my out of state support system becomes my main supporters. Not going to lie, it was a tearful goodbye as they prayed over me and I watched them go through security while I stayed back with my grandparents throwing up the “I love You” sign every chance I got. I spent the night at my grandparents house last night, and went to church with them today. Now I’m headed back to the dorms to get my self all settled and ready for my first day of class. 

This week has been like a roller coaster of emotions, happy to be in Texas, sad to see my family leave, to constantly thinking: “did I make the right decision to come here?” I ultimately believe that I did.

I have a few prayer requests though:

Pray that I continue to make friends and good decisions.

Pray that I will stay diligent in my school work and in my faith.

Pray that it will get easier for me to be away from my family. Each day is its own battle for me, and its everything I can do to not break down and cry. 

Pray for my parents that they will be okay without me and my sister, and that they won’t get too lonely. 

And last but not least, please pray that God will continue to comfort me in this time of transition. 

Thank you for all of your prayer, love, and support. I’ll make sure to keep y’all updated as much as possible!

God Bless,

Em

rough

today was move in day. super exciting, but super exhausting. we decided to raise my bed on concrete blocks to maximize space. then swat started. its just go go go all the time.

any prayers that you could send my way for strength and endurance would be greatly appreciated right now.

thanks so much! there will be more when i have more time!

love y’all 

landed.

I’m finally in Texas!!! Leaving the house this morning was such a whirlwind! We left the house an hour later than I wanted, and everyone was all tired and discombobulated. We made it to the airport with literally not a moment to spare! Yesterday I finally stared getting really sad, starting when I went to say goodbye to my other family, the Kings. The second oldest, Sammy, broke my heart when he said “I don’t want you to go cause I’m afraid you’re going to forget us.” There is no way I could EVER, and I mean EVER, forget those boys or that family. As I drove away from their house, the tears started to fall. Later on that night a few of my friends were over helping me get all my stuff together and to say goodbye to me. As I said goodbye to Noelle, on of my best friends, I started to cry again. It finally hit me that I was leaving and I really was going to miss everyone in my life. Then today as our plane was taxi-ing out to the runway the tears started to flow again, and without sign of stopping for awhile. I finally was able to pull myself together, though, and then fall asleep and before I knew it we were landing. It literally felt like it was a 15 minute flight! It’s been really nice getting to hang out with my dad’s family again, so the sadness has been kept at bay for now, but I know that by the end of this week, it’ll be back. 

This week holds many many events for me! Monday and Tuesday I’ll be doing all my last minute shopping, and then moving in on Wednesday morning. Then Wednesday afternoon SWAT (student welcome and transition) begins! It is sure to be a very exciting, but also a very scary time!

I would really appreciate any prayers or good thoughts that y’all could send my way. Pray that while it’s okay for me to be sad to be leaving behind my friends, that it won’t keep me from enjoying and really putting my all into making friends and trying to make Texas work. 

Thats all for now! Keep checking in for more updates!